Do we really want to give him more airtime?

Did we feed his narcissism..
Did we feed the monster? Or did we create it?

And you, you at home, watching a whole fucking documentary about **** ****, are you complicit?

Ok, so I will just use The Witcher as my background noise while I edit my article.

More Movies

To celebrate the end of inferno, that is code for Fall 2019, I went to see Richard Jewell, as if this movie was going to drown the bitterness of Dark Waters.

Hell nah. Nah son!

Damn Sam Rockwell as well, also damn the media focused on Olivia Wide's character. Damn the lack of coverage over the actual treatment this guy has been submitted to by actual government officials. Damn everything about coverage surrounding all the movies that push the American audience to rethink their choice to delegate their critical thinking to higher ups. My heart goes to the other productions: Dark Waters, Joker, Official Secrets..

I fully empathized with the main character and appreciated the presence of Mr. Rogers as the backdrop and safety blanket. It's not a Mr. Rogers movie per say, but damn I missed Hanks and needed a Hanks marathon after that one. So I watched Philadelphia and Terminal and got dehydrated and that was it

Inspired by chunks of Shia's childhood. This was heartbreaking truly, especially for the rehab scenes. But seeing Shia playing his own father and FKA Twigs in her brilliant role, it got me good.

I couldn't wait until finals were over to watch that, that's how much I anticipated this feature. I watched it the night before turning my Quantum exam. And after watching it, I didn't calm down. The character writing is amazing, just amazing. Adam knows how to pick his roles, but Scarlett is surprising me with good roles lately. Good for her!

Now to wait for Uncut Gems, Waves, Cats and 1917 and the Witcher series and final of Rick and Morty. What a year!!!

Dmitri Dmitriyevich Shostakovich

 Just when you think you've done the gran tour of USSR composers, one unexpectedly pops up.

I fucking love doing research, and I fucking love doing the one related to my writing even more.

To Remember a War : Eerie, Lonely and Haunting

A friend had shared these artworks in photos while on a trip. I was at awe back then at the shapes and the reminiscences they were expressing. I didn't understand any of the text or the contest, but just seeing these erect symbols in pictures instilled me with a foggy dread and evoked the stillness of grey Eastern Berlin and the clashing communism niched within hopeful Prague. Now with this new video on my feed, I go back to explore again these monuments

"They are located all over former Yugoslavia (Balkan peninsula). These are from Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Croatia. They are all commemorating the evils of war and heroic acts. For instance, the one in Jasenovac (the bird-like sculpture) is located on the place of former WWII Croatian concentration camp Jasenovac (if you google the Jasenovac you will see, it is supposed to be the cruelest and most horrifying camp of WWII). what is fascinating is the level of abstraction and arguably attempt to make peace amongst different nationalities who did despicable things to one another, not only during WWII but also sadly even in the 90s"

I remembered the pictures and I should put them here. I should have done back when I found them, but damn I was so not in the head space adequate to take that sort of actions

All pictures are property of Matej Jasso

What PhD feels like right now

While sitting here, preparing for my quantum finale and anticipating the relief I hopefully would feel once all my exams are over and my grades are up, I realized that this moment is but the fractal of my PhD journey so far, to the punctuation point.

Sitting in coffee shops where regulars have registered me by now, white noise of the comers and goers that have no coffee culture whatsoever, laptop turned on always and providing references and music, assignments and white paper nesting near a cup of coffee doomed to always be filled and emptied, over and over again, even when my hands start shacking and my heart beats too fast too oddly, my eyes aching from the pdf reading while my pocket is thankful for the spared 300 something dollar textbook that wouldn't have been enough anyway because right now it is an affair of at least three books per class, my food hastily gobbled up, the cheapest vegetarian thing I could get plus a little treat because that's how my life is right now: spending too much on outside vegetarian food and constantly buying myself treats to nurse the stress and the anxiety as best as I could do. And the whole thing while permuting between Shisho if I am feeling a teeny tiny hope or a little ember of energy

Or Vangelis, otherwise.

And I must admit between the two, it was Vangelis who frequently ruled over the sound space. This semester is under the hymn of Sweet Solitude and The Blue Monkey, they take the cup home these two.

I am taking a break, trying to decide if it's  grim or sad or melancholic or negative or normal to have this moment as a fractal. I haven't been able to read my own moods for few months now. And just when I surrendered to no longer looking for the why and how, I stumbled upon the response.

And man did it provide the how and why and made sense of plenty of things. I was listening to this in another coffee shop, working on another assignment from another class. I stopped and just listened to that thing on repeat, digesting the facts and letting them sink in. I have been more tranquil since then, more than I have been in some time, and it helped me with the final push I so needed to wrap up this infernal semester.

I mean this moment was fated to wrap up anyway, but to me, the matter of how I would come out of it was the main issue. I contemplate how I am coming out of it now and I am not satisfied, I'm not unhappy, I'm not frustrated either. I'm just existing, which is much better than whatever the hell I was doing before.

On another hand, while I spent my time mostly in coffee shops when I wasn't at work, I managed to go to the movies frequently, the most I have been in my whole life. I also attended every local performance of our classic local hall and every play in the region. Finally, I went through my mandatory marathons, namely Dune saga. Man how much I cried at work, before class, while donating plasma and while driving, over Leto II mainly, and the rest unevenly. It just never gets to a point where I am used to the books and the events. My understanding doesn't help with the emotional turmoil the books set in me.

I am getting tired already in this iHOP, and the waiter is not helping: Dude keeps bringing the coffee, and I keep drinking, he keeps refilling the cream bowl and I keep putting some in my mug. But it will all be over soon.

And then, I promise, I will go to a coffee shop and sit, and not do anything for the whole time while I am sitting. No book, no laptop, no phone, nothing.

Where the Fuck is Eminem?

A croire que la semaine des examens et un Lundi ne sont jamais une bonne excuse pour qu'un type specifique de trous de culs la mette en sourdine.

Non, le type "stick-up-his-butt" doit en plus circuler entre les bureaux comme le sheriff a mater nos ecrans parce que son dernier email pseudo "passif-agressif-poliment-cinglant" n'a pas rempli son but et que par consequent, il a toujours pas acces aux licenses. Moi, par contre, je trouve que ce genre d'emails remplit admirablement son but. La preuve: Personne ne lache les licenses des logiciels ou annule leur acces au serveur et monsieur reste bloque, incapable d'ouvrir l'un ou l'autre.

Et ce type, a chaque fois qu'il passe troisieme et decide de faire son sheriff, pour une foutredieu de raison que je comprendrai jamais si ca se trouve, il decide de marquer une pause a ma gauche et de parler au "kisses-asses-and-tell-them-how-they-taste" en diagonal de moi. Il ne va pas echanger deux phrases puis continuer, non! Il ne va pas non plus decider de contourner les bureaux et aller vers son interlocuteur, non! Il ne va pas la fermer et passer a autre chose non!

"Stick-up-his-butt" decidera que c'est le moment de parler de sa maison nouvellement acquise alors qu'il est meme pas je ne sais quoi, qu'il pense integrer le cycle doctoral mais attend un prof qui le merite, que lui au moins il est reglo avec son pretre dans son service catho, que son the bio infusion est europeen certifie, que...

-Where the Fuck is Eminem? Where is Fucking Eminem when you need? Dude, where you at?

Desole Maitre Hirasawa, desole OST de FF, desole la musique classique ou les ondes positives qui ameliorent la concentration et les meditations inspirees plus new-age tu meurs. Si ce n'est pas Eminem a fond dans mes oreilles au travail, je vais finir par lui enfoncer un autre balai dans le cul a ce petit trou de cul. Apparemment, si "stick-up-his-butt" ne fait pas son travail dans son coin, personne ne va se concentrer sur le sien. Et apparemment, les tenseurs de quatrieme rang qui riment pas trop et les reductions de donnees de tests qui recquierent des interpolations manuelles sont des choses que je peux faire en auto-pilote en ayant sa voix de petit con arrogant dans l'oreille.

Putain! Deja que bosser avec des enfants qui n'ont pas vu grand chose du monde que ce petit bout de midwest de mes deux, c'est triste. Mais en plus, avoir affaire a des gamineries aussi previsibles qu'irritantes de la part de pseudo-adultes qui n'ont aucune autre experience professionnelle et sociale en dehors du labo aseptise, plaisant et bien securise avec son personnel unidimensionnel tout aussi aseptise et tres positif a l'americaine, ca me casse le crane et les nichons de plus en plus.

Surtout en de telles periodes de stress.

Mais une chose est sure, quand je demande du Eminem, je le demande haut et fort. Et avec ma voix ca porte, du coup, "stick-up-his-butt" essaie de me jeter un regard mais je suis pas presente et il degage dare-dare. Mais merci hein, j'avais besoin de me calmer et de me concentrer, la je dois me defouler et vomir ce ramassis de connerie tout en gaspillant presqu'une heure a cause de ses betises.

Putain

Dragon Sluts XD

Rick and Morty are overachievers! This season got me rewatching the moment the episode finishes and taking bathroom breaks from laughing my ass off

"Have fun with empowerment! It seems to make anybody that gets it really happy!"

Dark Waters

I watched Dark Waters yesterday

And here is the article

Bilott doesn’t regret fighting DuPont for the last 16 years, nor for letting PFOA consume his career. But he is still angry. ‘‘The thought that DuPont could get away with this for this long,’’ Bilott says, his tone landing halfway between wonder and rage, ‘‘that they could keep making a profit off it, then get the agreement of the governmental agencies to slowly phase it out, only to replace it with an alternative with unknown human effects — we told the agencies about this in 2001, and they’ve essentially done nothing. That’s 14 years of this stuff continuing to be used, continuing to be in the drinking water all over the country. DuPont just quietly switches over to the next substance. And in the meantime, they fight everyone who has been injured by it.’’