Oscar's Snub

 I cannot fucking believe Mr. Bachmann got snubbed :(

But also, I cannot believe, fucking believe, Quo Vadis made it to the nominations either.

Et ils ne savent toucher les coeurs qu'en les froissant.

That was one hell of a read, one hell of a watch

 

When catching up and setting time aside for some friendship quality time becomes a problem, make your friend come to your place for early breakfast then spend the rest of the time discussing with his half-asleep ass, gender and queer identity, veteran affairs, the perpetrated post-colonialism colonialism and friends in common neither of you thought were actually in common because even though you both keep mentioning each other to the other circle, they just keep quiet over who knows who.

I'm starting to wonder if information sharing is such a fucking problem or monetizable activity at this point.

Or maybe, just make sure that whoever you consider to be "a really good friend" knows you enough at least to remember your name and face.

Coz damn.

Meanwhile on my floor.

Alle begrüßen den Impfstoff :D

If you have told me last year, that in a year and three days, I will be privileged to get the damn thing, I'd have told you to sober up and get some help, papi!

But the county of Wichita where I am is moving to phases 3 and 4. 

So the university's employees and the aviation staff (Aviation workers with military contract are deemed essential in this smoky little town. It's the main business of Lost-in-Kansas-too-many-earthquakes-no-tornadoes-aviation-capital-of-the-world-wtf Wichita) are eligible for vaccines. 

And Maria and I happen to be under both!

Honestly, I wasn't expecting AT ALL such A PERK from being in the US! All I can think is how much of a privilege it is, when I don't know ANYONE from the other side of the Atlantic who got it.

The Dangers of a Single Story

 This is good.

A Three-days of Weird Timeline

Wanted to support a close friend in a competition to which she had to apply because of advisor's pressure.

Ended up dragging two other homies in the masquerade.

Spent three days on guidelines that seem to be only there for teams and not the jury, making 'pitches', adjusting 'pitches', modifying 'pitches'.

My fucking God. I hate this fucking word now.

I'm pretty sure we all wanted to quit the bullshit yet each one of us respects commitment enough to endure it.

And it fucking lasted.

Starting Friday 4h00pm all the way to Sunday 2h00pm. Shitty sleep, intensive research, fast PPT creation and reading and modification. Plus sitting there, taking erratic feedback from people who either want to sound smart, didn't read the guidelines we were given, or simply expect the ideas that they want to hear or would have themselves, damn. Chef's kiss.

My fucking God.

Here is the thing:

-Tell me a competition is for some military and defense oriented company and I'd say fuck no.

-Tell me a competition is for some American military and defense oriented company and I'd scream HELL NO.

-Tell me to solve something for the Department of Attack (doublespeak here) and 'innovate' for their benefits and the benefit of the private company, and I'd start to wonder who the fuck you think I am.

-Tell me to squeeze my brain juices, deliver references, pave the way to ideas and feasibility, make a sort of market research and quick efficient insight on innovative trends then give it all to some fucking company under the guise of academic competitions and crap, and I'd just leave the conversation at that point.

Yet, I ended up sacrificing my time, effort, resources and skills and did all that shit.

Now here is the thing; I am sitting at my place after the shenanigans and the announcement of the winners (obvi, not us) and I contemplate two things:

-What would I not do for a friend? Maybe I abused my own boundaries in this time (homegirl didn't pressure me but I knew the fucker behind her did so and she is NOT, definitely NOT a confrontational person). Maybe I didn't want her to feel left out (homegirl is the leading PhD in her team and the smartest most hardworking individual in that fucking lab and no one bothered including her?). Maybe I wanted to repay some of her goodwill and gestures. I don't know, but damn I did it and it wasn't enjoyable but we had some great laughs and I'm never ever doing this shit again.

-It's surprising to find out I can actually work in teams in this country after all; it's just a matter of people. I don't think I have worked on something with more than one person since I came to the U.S., and being excluded is just my average life at this point so I just tend to do things on my own or with the help of my homies overseas. So to see that despite our shared disgust for the topic, the way it's formulated, what we are supposed to deliver, the fucked up conditions, the shitty and contradictory feedback and our hectic schedules, we still managed to make something we all liked, something decent, and maybe too decent that at different points, one of us didn't want to share shit with these guys in the first place? That was something else!

Damn.

Needless to say, I didn't learn shit from this experience. Or rather, I didn't learn what the jolly head of the damn thing with his cringey-ass humor would have wanted me to learn. Nothing about this pile of crap was informative in a substantial manner for the benefits of the competitions. I t was poorly managed and the prizes are nowhere near worth the hassle. Leave that shit to gullible undergrads looking to add a line to their CVs.

Actually, our of the ten judges we had, only two were helpful and one was silent. Damn.

But I earned a potential team, people I know that could collaborate to a decent extent to make something happen.

And maybe next time, it will be a passion project of at least one of us, without any questionable and egotistical ethics, or some unprofessional judging thrown there to sabotage while advance and confuse instead of guide.

Finally, we were so privileged to have the doggos to constantly make us pause for cuddles and some poop therapy. I've gathered a lot of poop in those last three days just as a means to cope with the stress.

And as usual, Sonny knows when to come and give me some sugar :3. He is the Qutest boy of them all T.T

Easily the best thing of these fucked-up three days

Dishonered Times

 Having mad nostalgia and tingling sensations over Dishonered and Siren Blood Curse.

Can't do shit about it right now because of commitments.

So OST for the time being.

Meanwhile, the kids I'm training have so much time on their hands they know ALL the memes and are BORED. T_____________T

What a life.

Keep your hands off Eizouken

Most importantly, keep your hands off the Best Girl of the season (in strong ties with Maki, but let's say Maki is from the old season)

Strands

 

I have to come at work to train the kids and make use of better hardware than the crappy Dell laptop.

OST time to drown the noise of unwanted discussions.

I find with every listening session to the Death Stranding OST, my appreciation for the game deepens.

I yearn to continue playing, continue building and helping.

I pity those who play videogames yet had neither patience nor emotional intelligence to take in the game as the creator truly meant for it to be experienced.

Just like Shingeki no Kyojin at this stage, it's "donner de la confiture a des cochons" - give marmelade to the pigs.