I don't dance enough to this

 Or as my therapist would say: "I shall be dancing more to this."

Happy Birthday Matej

 Shitty Wichita became less shitty thanks to this couple's unfortunate (fortunate) arrival in September. It's hard enough to find connections, let alone people working on them and genuinely and generously giving and receiving. I miss them like crazy everytime the Americans remind me of just how unkind and shallow they seem to always always be.

I miss you guys so much, yet another part of my heart stranded in other parts of the world. And me a vessel of those memories at times, only sustained by them and the proof there is some hope and there is connection to be found and people deeply and genuinely and unabashadely engaged in it.

I've always being the solitary sort of person, nested in my own heart, insignificant and holy, content and curious. The one place where I was made to feel lonely and alienated has been the U.S. and only when I meet kind souls like Eva and Matej do I feel like someone took my head out of a bucket of water to remind me of air in other places.

This is the might and magic of Hirasawa.

On a random playlist, when I need his voice and words poured into me, there comes the exactly needed song to navigate that particular spell I'm in and it's all I need to weep my helplessness and pain away, then pick my axe up and get back to building bridges.

Translation from Hirasawa Lyrics 

ハイホ－ いきりたつ風を背に受け

ハイホ－ 遠くまで歌声を投げ
空の隅で夜に仕えた
つるはしを振りおろし 夜通しで橋を架け
ハイホ－ 遠くまでこの声を投げ

ハイホ－ 焼け落ちる街の火を見ろ
ハイホ－ 夜明けにはキミが生まれる
胸の奥で急げと声が
つるはしを振りおろせ 夜通しで振りおろせ
ハイホ－ 夜明けには キミが生まれる

※ 何千もの川辺に音もたてず降りる
完全なる地図には道が続くキミへと

ハイホ－ 息を呑む その時が来る
ハイホ－ 夜明けには キミが目覚める
胸の奥で今だと声が
つるはしを振りおろし 夜通しで橋を架け
ハイホ－ 息を呑む その時が来る

※ Repeat

—-

haihoo  ikiritatsu kaze wo se ni uke
haihoo  tooku made utagoe wo nage
sora no sumi de yoru ni tsukaeta
tsuruhashi wo furioroshi  yodooshi de hashi wo kake
haihoo  tooku made kono koe wo nage

haihoo  yakeochiru machi no hi wo miro
haihoo  yoake ni wa kimi ga umareru
mune no oku de isoge to koe ga
tsuruhashi wo furiorose  yodooshi de furiorose
haihoo  yoake ni wa  kimi ga umareru

※ nanzen mo no kawabe ni oto mo tatezu oriru
kanzen naru chizu ni wa michi ga tsudzuku kimi e to

haihoo  iki wo nomu  sono toki ga kuru
haihoo  yoake ni wa kimi ga mezameru
mune no oku de ima da to koe ga
tsuruhashi wo furioroshi  yodooshi de hashi wo kake
haihoo  iki wo nomu  sono toki ga kuru

※ Repeat

—-

Heigh-ho~  With the raging wind at my back
Heigh-ho~  I sing after you so far away
I served the night at the corners of the sky,
swinging down my pickaxe and building bridges until dawn
Heigh-ho~  I call after you so far away

Heigh-ho~  Behold the flames of the burning city
Heigh-ho~  You will be born at dawn
A voice deep within tells me to hurry,
to swing down my pickaxe and work all throughout the night
Heigh-ho~  You will be born at dawn

※ The completed map silently descends upon the shores of thousands of rivers
The roads within lead on to you

Heigh-ho~  My breath catches in my throat  That time will come
Heigh-ho~  You will awaken at dawn
A voice deep within tells me “Now!”
as I swing down my pickaxe and build bridges all night long
Heigh-ho~  My breath catches in my throat  That time will come

※ Repeat

To reconnect through music

 

Ah you take me back to a time, a mental state, a phase, a mood.

One. Hell. Of. A. Mood.

And I'm there for it

Smashing the Opponent

 How the fuck was I not aware of this shit before?

The kids did good

 Not only they didn't let me down, but they did me proud :D.