Hikaru Nanase back on my playlist

For some reason, Angel Sanctuary's ost is making a full comeback into my audio habits.

And I am not mad at that at all. I just wish there was more of Hikaru Nanase stuff out there.

On the other hand, following therapist's advice and in order to push for the fun hour despite the complete alienation I feel at that mere idea, I decided to engage with the local Nano chapter. For this whole month of November, I will not only commit to the 50k quest, but I will actually attend the write-in sessions and related events. I will do this much, but I can't guarantee my level of initiative conversation wise, or interest wise really.

I attended the pre-meeting and how can I say this? I was underwhelmed by everything: The audience, the directives, the objectives, the tools, the resources...etc Plus silly me, I thought that since writing is a solitary endeavor, people would actually come to these events to meet others with the same passion and get to know them. It turned out that no, apparently, conversation is not the main focus. Getting to know someone else is not the main thing either: It seemed everyone was versed in monologue and looking to discover themselves through new eyes. While scouring the internet on self-publishing and traditional publishing and whatnot, I realized that being an author these days involve a heavy amount of self-absorption and self-promotion, whether direct or indirect. While I thought hum, maybe that is what they are being told from a marketing standpoint. And with the rise of reality TV, hell even Will Smith is buying in that open-yourself-up-to-faceless-audience game.

But nope, even in person, it seems to be the brand. I have pushed myself to attend two gatherings so far, and so far, it had either bored me good or made wish I was at the movies instead. The few people that actually dare approach me quickly drop the conversation format and choose the monologue one. I haven't interrupted someone by telling them: "I think I am getting bored, will go now" since 2016. I am finding myself again in the kind of situations or I just take my leave in the middle of the paragraph.

But I promised I will do it, for November, and I just want to prove to myself that even if something is unpleasant, if it has a chance to help me feel better, I will attempt. I used to be good at shoving irksome medicine down my throat diligently and regularly for the sake of my health, I can do it again now.

Summon the Dragon, and Cruel Tactics on the loop