"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Shitty Wichita became less shitty thanks to this couple's unfortunate (fortunate) arrival in September. It's hard enough to find connections, let alone people working on them and genuinely and generously giving and receiving. I miss them like crazy everytime the Americans remind me of just how unkind and shallow they seem to always always be.
I miss you guys so much, yet another part of my heart stranded in other parts of the world. And me a vessel of those memories at times, only sustained by them and the proof there is some hope and there is connection to be found and people deeply and genuinely and unabashadely engaged in it.
I've always being the solitary sort of person, nested in my own heart, insignificant and holy, content and curious. The one place where I was made to feel lonely and alienated has been the U.S. and only when I meet kind souls like Eva and Matej do I feel like someone took my head out of a bucket of water to remind me of air in other places.
3/10/22
This is the might and magic of Hirasawa.
On a random playlist, when I need his voice and words poured into me, there comes the exactly needed song to navigate that particular spell I'm in and it's all I need to weep my helplessness and pain away, then pick my axe up and get back to building bridges.
haihoo ikiritatsu kaze wo se ni uke haihoo tooku made utagoe wo nage sora no sumi de yoru ni tsukaeta tsuruhashi wo furioroshi yodooshi de hashi wo kake haihoo tooku made kono koe wo nage
haihoo yakeochiru machi no hi wo miro haihoo yoake ni wa kimi ga umareru mune no oku de isoge to koe ga tsuruhashi wo furiorose yodooshi de furiorose haihoo yoake ni wa kimi ga umareru
※ nanzen mo no kawabe ni oto mo tatezu oriru kanzen naru chizu ni wa michi ga tsudzuku kimi e to
haihoo iki wo nomu sono toki ga kuru haihoo yoake ni wa kimi ga mezameru mune no oku de ima da to koe ga tsuruhashi wo furioroshi yodooshi de hashi wo kake haihoo iki wo nomu sono toki ga kuru
※ Repeat
—-
Heigh-ho~ With the raging wind at my back Heigh-ho~ I sing after you so far away I served the night at the corners of the sky, swinging down my pickaxe and building bridges until dawn Heigh-ho~ I call after you so far away
Heigh-ho~ Behold the flames of the burning city Heigh-ho~ You will be born at dawn A voice deep within tells me to hurry, to swing down my pickaxe and work all throughout the night Heigh-ho~ You will be born at dawn
※ The completed map silently descends upon the shores of thousands of rivers The roads within lead on to you
Heigh-ho~ My breath catches in my throat That time will come Heigh-ho~ You will awaken at dawn A voice deep within tells me “Now!” as I swing down my pickaxe and build bridges all night long Heigh-ho~ My breath catches in my throat That time will come
