Unexpected Fun Times

I was NOT expecting the great moments I got to share with these people. Now that I think aobut it, this semester had been the one filled with the most fun so far, the many nice encounters and the people who just ask you gullibly to tag along to the bar the club and the Twin Peaks.

“Believe me, it’s better to produce the balance-sheet of your own life than that of the grain market.”

—SENECA, ON THE BREVITY OF LIFE, 18.3b

On that note,I am finally done with the balance sheet of my coursework requirements for the PhD.
I am done with the exams, just had my last one today.
Done with homework and assignments and projects and class time and dealing with the peculiarities of every professor and class.

Now, now that I am free, I can focus on the main reason why I went for a PhD in the first place: After four years, I am allowed to do the part that got me all riled up for this shit in the first place.

I can't be grateful enough that this chapter is concluded.

I'm not going to do anything today, just watch Aggretsuko

Why do I look like a criminal?

Oh Retsi, you sure crack me up every-fucking-time

In the Corner of the World and Grave of Fireflies

I wasn't expecting these to still hit hard and linger like this. I thought I got desensitized enough.

On Rewatch since the week-end because fuck knows why and why and who anymore anyway

You my friend aren't the clown, you are the whole circus

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Last semester of classes, last final exams, last time you embark on shit like that.

One more week, two exams to push through, one infernal final where I don't even know what I am supposed to know from what I am not supposed to know anymore.

Keeping it together for now, just focusing on keeping it together and not feeling uselessly about the fact that:

-I specified ahead of time that I don't know relativistic mechanics to start with, nor have I taken this class (which turned out to be the case for all the fucking physics students in that class but they pushed for it anyway because fuck knows why), and so I don't understand exactly how the quantum version of it comes into play (correction: Can't spare the time to investigate the question).

-I made it clear I was not versed in particle physics and can't for the life of me just embark on beta-decay vs deep inelastic scattering vs weak interactions vs neutronization and just know the difference to the extent of utilizing quantum practices ( I see you time dependent perturbation theory) to assess quantized collisions.

-Unless I was taking some radically different class with someone else, we didn't study scattering theory. Yet I can't find any other pointer as to starting to understand how to perform certain required tasks without any knowledge of scattering theory.

This is the last time I will have to take classes inside a school setting with high stakes.
This is the last time I am taking classes where the foundations aren't sturdy and developed enough to be able to debate with a professor over the so classic statement "You should know this from a previous class" to justify every wrong turn.
This is the last time grades will be the main reason I am pushing insanity to have a complete hold of shit I used to read in sci-fi books before tackling it in class.

Cherry on top is the ways my neighbors are coping with the exams' period:

-Doing laundry at 2h00 am (laundry is right below my bedroom)
-Moving furniture and disposing of heavy items at 3h00 am
-Stealing packages
-Dancing and doing cardio in the garden facing the building (thus facing my living room)
-Blasting David Guetta

Last one was a good one though, and if I wasn't entangled in my head and stress right now, even the cardio in the garden would have been a positive inspiration to move my body in my place.

Not there yet though.

But hey, I forgot how Guetta used to make good music!

Teacher Song

A professor sent us this video. Funny for sure (I still laugh even though I watched it ten times by now), but he hardly fits the profile.

Blackout Tuesday

What is your connection to black people?
Do you have black friends?
Do you understand how black people live?
Or is it just the stuff you see on TV?

It's not the job of a black person to fucking educate you on what you can google.

Embracing cultural diversity like a healthy balanced diet. You can't rely on mayonnaise and be healthy

You are not a missionary, you don't need to actively look for a black friend to give you a zoo insight. You need to try and go through the experience. You need to be part of the community, be part of the struggle, not be the tourist of the goddamn experience.

You want everything except the struggle : Cultural Appropriation.

They think they are not racist because:
-They have a black friend.
-They don't attend a kkk meeting.
-They watch Tyler Perry or like Beyonce.

A lot think they are fine and not racist, but then when it comes to a black man telling a white person you are not following the rules, the response is much different from what they would give to another white person. Black people in different professions are spoken to by whites like they are less of a person, and these white people firmly believe they are not racist when they are constantly acting on built up cultural and social biases towards black folks.

Shout out to white folks who suddenly have access to some minority within a controlled environment, where they are in charge and in control, and think of them as amusing and some exotic animal in a zoo.

White supremacy is a spectrum. There are biases and features that you should actively fight.

This is not an overraction. The anger is not misplaced. The pain is not misplaced. People seem more worried about a fucking window than a broken neck. Surprised that this country didn't burn any sooner.

Whomever is willing to listen to me is not part of the problem. I am preaching to the choir. It boils down to the white people posting, the ones that are linked to racist ass aunties and grandmas and friends. That's where they should start, the white people that are problematic in other white people's lives. Speak up, black folks can't do it, they will be fired or arrested. But if you are the white person sitting next to them, you pipe up you speak up. They will listen to you.

Educate yourself on the laws and the system that was set to keep black folks under the foot, educate yourself, educate yourself, EDU-CATE YOUR-SELF

Posting it Again because fuck

Around 15:00-17:00 lies a peaceful tomb for my mind. There, the are the fleeting talbo moments that summarize the amount of affection I have for this creator.

Affection is a euphemism.