Whisper of the Heart makes it sweeter though
That and some tea, more tea, tea, tea, tea
4/20/20
4/15/20
L'eau
Plus bas que moi, toujours plus bas que moi se trouve l’eau. C’est toujours les yeux baissés que je la regarde. Comme le sol, comme une partie du sol, comme une modification du sol.
Elle est blanche et brillante, informe et fraîche, passive et obstinée dans son seul vice : la pesanteur; disposant de moyens exceptionnels pour satisfaire ce vice : contournant, transperçant, érodant, filtrant.
A l’intérieur d’elle-même ce vice aussi joue : elle s’effondre sans cesse, renonce à chaque instant à toute forme, ne tend qu’à s’humilier, se couche à plat ventre sur le sol, quasi cadavre, comme les moines de certains ordres. Toujours plus bas : telle semble être sa devise : le contraire d’excelsior.
*
On pourrait presque dire que l’eau est folle, à cause de cet hystérique besoin de n’obéir qu’à sa pesanteur, qui la possède comme une idée fixe.
Certes, tout au monde connaît ce besoin, qui toujours et en tous lieux doit être satisfait. Cette armoire, par exemple, se montre fort têtue dans son désir d’adhérer au sol, et si elle se trouve un jour en équilibre instable, elle préférera s’abîmer plutôt que d’y contrevenir. Mais enfin, dans une certaine mesure, elle joue avec la pesanteur, elle la défie : elle ne s’effondre pas dans toutes ses parties, sa corniche, ses moulures ne s’y conforment pas. Il existe en elle une résistance au profit de sa personnalité et de sa forme.
liquide est par définition ce qui préfère obéir à la pesanteur, plutôt que maintenir sa forme, ce qui refuse toute forme pour obéir à sa pesanteur. Et qui perd toute tenue à cause de cette idée fixe, de ce scrupule maladif. De ce vice, qui le rend rapide, précipité ou stagnant; amorphe ou féroce, amorphe et féroce, féroce térébrant, par exemple; rusé, filtrant, contournant; si bien que l’on peut faire de lui ce que l’on veut, et conduire l’eau dans des tuyaux pour la faire ensuite jaillir verticalement afin de jouir enfin de sa façon de s’abîmer en pluie : une véritable esclave.
… Cependant le soleil et la lune sont jaloux de cette influence exclusive, et ils essayent de s’exercer sur elle lorsqu’elle se trouve offrir la prise de grandes étendues, surtout si elle y est en état de moindre résistance, dispersée en flaques minces. Le soleil alors prélève un plus grand tribut. Il la force à un cyclisme perpétuel, il la traite comme un écureuil dans sa roue.
*
L’eau m’échappe… me file entre les doigts. Et encore! Ce n’est même pas si net (qu’un lézard ou une grenouille) : il m’en reste aux mains des traces, des tâches, relativement longues à sécher ou qu’il faut’ essuyer.
Elle m’échappe et cependant me marque, sans que j’y puisse grand-chose.
Idéologiquement c’est la même chose : elle m’échappe, échappe à toute définition, mais laisse dans mon esprit et sur ce papier des traces, des taches informes.
*
Inquiétude de l’eau : sensible-au moindre changement de la déclivité. Sautant les escaliers les deux pieds à la fois. Joueuse, puérile d’obéissance, revenant tout de suite lorsqu’on la rappelle en changeant la pente de ce côté-ci.
3/27/20
Let America Be America Again
Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.
(America never was America to me.)
Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed—
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.
(It never was America to me.)
O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.
(There's never been equality for me,
Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")
Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?
And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?
I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek—
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.
I am the young man, full of strength and hope,
Tangled in that ancient endless chain
Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!
Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!
Of work the men! Of take the pay!
Of owning everything for one's own greed!
I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.
I am the worker sold to the machine.
I am the Negro, servant to you all.
I am the people, humble, hungry, mean—
Hungry yet today despite the dream.
Beaten yet today—O, Pioneers!
I am the man who never got ahead,
The poorest worker bartered through the years.
Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings
In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That's made America the land it has become.
O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home—
For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,
And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa's strand I came
To build a "homeland of the free."
The free?
Who said the free? Not me?
Surely not me? The millions on relief today?
The millions shot down when we strike?
The millions who have nothing for our pay?
For all the dreams we've dreamed
And all the songs we've sung
And all the hopes we've held
And all the flags we've hung,
The millions who have nothing for our pay—
Except the dream that's almost dead today.
O, let America be America again—
The land that never has been yet—
And yet must be—the land where every man is free.
The land that's mine—the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME—
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.
Sure, call me any ugly name you choose—
The steel of freedom does not stain.
From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,
We must take back our land again,
America!
O, yes,
I say it plain,
America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath—
America will be!
Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain—
All, all the stretch of these great green states—
And make America again!
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.
(America never was America to me.)
Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed—
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.
(It never was America to me.)
O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.
(There's never been equality for me,
Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")
Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?
And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?
I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek—
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.
I am the young man, full of strength and hope,
Tangled in that ancient endless chain
Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!
Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!
Of work the men! Of take the pay!
Of owning everything for one's own greed!
I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.
I am the worker sold to the machine.
I am the Negro, servant to you all.
I am the people, humble, hungry, mean—
Hungry yet today despite the dream.
Beaten yet today—O, Pioneers!
I am the man who never got ahead,
The poorest worker bartered through the years.
Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings
In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That's made America the land it has become.
O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home—
For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,
And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa's strand I came
To build a "homeland of the free."
The free?
Who said the free? Not me?
Surely not me? The millions on relief today?
The millions shot down when we strike?
The millions who have nothing for our pay?
For all the dreams we've dreamed
And all the songs we've sung
And all the hopes we've held
And all the flags we've hung,
The millions who have nothing for our pay—
Except the dream that's almost dead today.
O, let America be America again—
The land that never has been yet—
And yet must be—the land where every man is free.
The land that's mine—the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME—
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.
Sure, call me any ugly name you choose—
The steel of freedom does not stain.
From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,
We must take back our land again,
America!
O, yes,
I say it plain,
America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath—
America will be!
Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain—
All, all the stretch of these great green states—
And make America again!
Langston Hughes - 1902-1967
3/20/20
Life lands on each of us like an avalanche. We're either the accretion of this natural stream of detritus, or we are an invention, the result of choice and personal vision, of instinct and need. It takes something to carve out a completely new reality, it demands one relinquish comfort. It demands one live in the presence of possibility, willing to endure what seems for all the world like destruction to arrive on a distant shore of which one can only dream. We are not butterflies by design, and it demands a kind of faith or at least the suspension of such to will the opportunity, the space to go through a true transformation. A Metamorphosis.
Souls who've walked this particular path, understand. That at our heart we are all invented selves, and the only freedom in life, is choosing what you will create of yourself.
Souls who've walked this particular path, understand. That at our heart we are all invented selves, and the only freedom in life, is choosing what you will create of yourself.
3/19/20
In the Desert BY STEPHEN CRANE
In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it “Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”
3/14/20
Poem of the Atoms I
Rumi - Poem of the Atoms
O day, arise! The atoms are dancing
Thanks to Him the universe is dancing
The souls are dancing, overcome with ecstasy
I'll whisper in your ear where their dance is taking them
All the atoms in the air and in the desert know well, they seem insane
Every single atom, happy or miserable
Becomes enamoured of the sun, of which nothing can be said
ای روز برا که ذره ها رقص کنند
آن کس که از او چرخ و هوا رقص کنند
جانها ز خوشی بی سر و پا رقص کنند
در گوش تو گویم که کجا رقص کنند
هر ذره که در هوا یا در هامون است
نیکو نگرش که همچو ما مفتون است
هر ذره اگر خوش است اگر محذون است
سرگشته خورشید خوش بی چون است
3/6/20
The Perks of Having conversations with a fellow PhD that actually cares about science
Thanks M. !
This has been one of the greatest and surprising relationships that the quarantine brought me
